2. Lex Luthor kidnapped me because I know the secret formula to Superman’s power. Little did Lex know that I hid the formula in my library book. I was held captive for the last two months so I couldn’t return my books. Just yesterday, I was rescued by a dashing good-looking guy: SUPERMAN! Now all I have to do is go get the books from “secret vault” and return them… of course I can’t forget to take the secret formula with me. (Jerri A. Powell)

3. The recent events of natural disasters-tsunami, hurricanes, landslides-have left me scared to leave my apartment and the mailman won’t allow me to mail the book back because I didn’t get him a x-mas gift because I was broke from feeding my pet giraffe who eats ALL the time and you wouldn’t even believe the smell of the apartment. But here I am fleeing the apartment because of the smell. I will probably fall in a landslide on my way to turn in my 4 month overdue movies. (Lyle Jameson)

4. I was walking to class when this guy comes out of nowhere and snatches my bag off of my back. “No!” I screamed, “Not my library books!” and began running after him. I chased him down and used my karate skills to get the books back, but because the guy ended up in the hospital, the police had to keep the bag and books as evidence. (Sarah Duree)

5. I was kidnapped by terrorists and taken to South America where while trying to escape my bag was lost in a herd of sheep, and my bag was made out of sheep’s wool. After remembering my library books were in my bag I became depressed and went to a strip club to raise my spirits where to my surprise a stripper was wearing my bag with my books still inside. (Joseph Miles)

6. Couldn’t return my book because of time travel. When my book was due I was in the year 2557. (Floyd L. Brown)

7. It got lost under my laundry…along with my dog. (Eric Lyons)

8. I spent a week in Las Vegas with Britney Spears and didn’t attend any classes, so I also forgot to recheck my library books. (Danielle Riley)

9. When my fine came about (last semester) Fine Forgiveness Day had already passed. So, I have been waiting six months and telling the librarians that I didn’t have any money (even though I was just waiting for this week!) Thank goodness for this week. So, basically I’ve been waiting for fine forgiveness! (Karie Mueggenberg)

10. My dog ate them. Then I found them! (You know how). (Jo Dee Mitchell)